17 February 2006

I stopped by Barclay’s yesterday afternoon for my Holiday Celebration Pre-Toddler Bracer Duo of Imperial pints, when I noticed something- the place is teeming with alchies. The bartender was hammered, literally stumbling and giving folks the wrong beer and grabbing the waitresses’ asses and flying the eyelids half-mast at best. When I noticed the waitress nipping at a half-pint I mentioned that she had that “I need to get the fuck out of here look,” and she replied, “I’ve been sipping these things since 11. I’ve lost count.” It was four o’clock in the afternoon. The guy next to me said he was taking a break from painting houses and was doing a couple of 11 percenters while showing off pictures of his baby girl on his cell, bragging about the 40 beers he and his wife consumed on Valentine’s Day and then showing the bar pictures of said wife breastfeeding the newborn, while bellowing, “Her tits are bigger than the baby’s head,” to which the bespectacled, bearded and long-haired curmudgeon next to him responded, “Fuck babies.” Harry was diddling with a laptop, showing everybody a picture of a giant shark ready to devour an unsuspecting kayaker and cackling with sadistic Aussie glee. I believe the man in the kayak was an Abo. I finished my pint and headed for the door. Nobody noticed.

7 comments:

Dr. D said...

You win. Who was nipping 11am halfs?

Tuna said...

Wow, who knew? Is there some dark underside to Rockridge. BTW...it really seems like a little village there huh? I am currently waiting on 2 of my workmates getting done with their projects so we can get some brews in midtwon. then dinner with wife.

Fuck, it. I cant wait..

sonny house said...

the blonde one with the round face

there is definitely a solid crew of alchies at Barc's- same faces, same aggressive consumption, same 7-11 percenters. Drunks like to be with drunks- makes 'em feel less like a drunks. I speak from the heart.

Dr. D said...

jance; what a doll

Tuna said...

Do you think after closing time one of those wenches have ever been bent over the counter and given the high hard one? Just asking?

sonny house said...

why after closing time?

Dr. D said...

i think about that daily. i'm so in love with that place it's sickening