Shoot me before I buy vinyl again. Black Sabbath Vol. 4? Got it. The Pretty Things' SF Sorrow? Uh huh. Raven's The Pack is Back? For the love of God, get the man some help. My only consolation is that I've lost the last nine Ebay auctions, and by a considerable margin. Clearly, I'm not in these fuckers' league. 102 dollars for a scratchy Townes Van Zandt record? Crawl out of your cyberhole little mole and let me blast a cassette of Unsane directly into the aural section of your scrotum. You'll quickly reassess your purchasing decisions and call me your master. Let's talk, babe.

I'm firmly convinced that the best Rolling Stones record is Aftermath. Don't try to argue with me. You'll just embarrass yourself again. Especially you Let it Bleed hangers on. Jesus.

Oh, I'm supposed to provide reasons for my opinions? OK, Leffe and Affligem.

Why do people write about Russell Banks with purple prose? I've made it through Continental Drift (solid) and failed miserably with Rule of the Bone (oops, I mean he failed miserably), but I don't see it. Anybody got a rec for the jaded, besides Cloudsplitter (I've done my John Brown time, thank you)?

At this very moment, I'm listening to the Original Sins play "The Party's Over Now" and feeling sorry for myself. I missed the Stork show and the Owen/Mosher shindig due to middle-of-the-night illness. If only I had leeches on my nightstand.

Ana Ivanovic. Go to youtube if you're scratching your head.

Six more days of vacation- any suggestions? And Rein, your cds are in the mail.