17 November 2008

The Happiest Fucking Place on Earth

I headed for the HAPPIEST FUCKING PLACE ON EARTH with some trepidation. Three small children, a hysterical wife and two impatient grandparents seemed a tall task for a hardcore alchie done in by late-night hockey and a head full of IPA’s. Wherein would the fun lie?

Everywhere, apparently. The greatness of the Shark Tank was topped and topped again by the stupid joys of riding rides and not only because I got to tilt my head poetically as my kids got kiddie high from getting high- I forgot how much fucking fun it is to drop at high speeds into troughs of water or to put on purple 3-D glasses to have hornets attack your lumbar region or for sheer speed to exhilarate you to the point of stupidity. Fun fun. What a middle-aged concept. I loved the Muppets movie and laughed through the soaking log ride. I screamed in hysterics during the Indy ride and contemplated acid during Space Mountain. I waxed nostalgic during Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and wept Soaring Over California. It was the cleanest fun I’ve had in ages. I don’t give a fuck about the Disney Nazi’s or the ridiculous food prices or the endless sea of fat chick tattoos. I was happy for 72 consecutive hours.

Who da thunk it?

4 comments:

Dr. D said...

Muppets - i need to download some of those old muppet show episodes. i recall they had peter cook as a guest one time...

Anonymous said...

Why are amusement parks, state fairs and shopping malls synonymous with fat people?

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