It's the eve of the Sharks' first playoff game, and I just watched Juan Uribe strike out on three pitches above his shoulders and then flipped to Versus to catch the Blues/Canucks game because the NHL, in its infinite wisdom, pissed off ESPN and lost the contract.I need to vent.
Today's subject: the sideline reporter.
Point A- Too many have those braces white teeth and that Joan Rivers smile and that voice, that helium voice, so uneasy in the mouth and on the ear. If you're going to wear that botox smile, put on a cheerleader uniform.
Point B- she never gets anybody to say anything, unless some cranky college football coach rips her a new one- "How do you feel about the way things went in the first half/period/quarter/trimester of my mating season?" Unless I feel like Stephen Jackson might throw down at any moment, she's not asking tough questions.
Point C- stop interrupting players while they're on the fucking bench in the middle of the fucking game. They are tired or concentrating or desperately in need of a non-camera moment. You will get them to say nothing, and you will destroy the last bit of mystery the dugout/bench held for the child whose cynicism begins with your first question.
I say, unless she's going to ask real questions (that don't involve feelings), she is a superfluous annoyance taking time from shots of cheerleaders and drunken coeds in the stands.
In the 1970's, the Dallas Cowboys understood how to add sex to the violence. Have we really regressed this far?
9 comments:
that's quite a beaverish overbite on miss microphone there. i am pro sideline babe and anti old-man foul ball monkey.
The sideline reporter belongs in Playboy. Period.
Might I add that all sports suffer from way too many commentators and little insight? I'd like to watch a broadcast that told me something I didn't know and in quantifiable terms when possible. This would facilitate gambling and eliminate cliches/"takes."
For what it's worth, John Madden retired today.
This post was spotted by Mike Baus on SFgate. Glad to know that I am not alone (although, I still think signing Manny would ahve been a mistake).
Check this out from the Comical this morning...outstanding.
4/16/2009 12:28:16 AM
Mr. Schulman, when you refer to the "Lunatic Fringe", I presume you're referring to the Giants fans who have basically called every front office mis-step, bad signing and missed signing opportunity, while still supporting this team through thick and thin, rather than using it as a derogatory term to those fans who dare question the Giants organization and it's constant numb-skull decisions? The Lunatic Fringe, paying $9 a beer, coming to the endless stream of non-sensical ethnically manipulative promotional days, watching the endless procession of minor-league lineups, spineless reporting, lame excuses for losing, and buying the "we did the due diligence on this player" BS.
But hey, it's a great stadium, right? Please have some more of our money without accountability for your actions and bad product. Seeing Neukom, the bow-tied buffoon, watching the player he should have signed trot home for the winning run tonight was simply too much to bear. Playing baseball the "Giants Way" dont'cha know. But don't worry, we'll be back for more, for we are the Lunatic Fringe. Lunatic Fringe Heritage Night anyone? We can all sit in Sec 334 and have rotten fruit thrown at us by front office and blue-sky-oriented baseball journalists. Maybe next season? Lunatics is right....we must be lunatics to keep putting up with this dross on and off the field. I am now off to spend the night in my iron coffin for daring to think that $18 million for Renteria was a bad signing.....FFS
My favorite term of the day:
"point forward"
Don Nelson discussing the type of player who could act as the leader of the offense.
He also suggested Jackson had to be the 2 on the offense.
Don Nelson must be put out of his nonsensical maddening reign.
dex romweber duo back in sf after interminable 6 week absence May 19 2009 10:00P Slim’s San Francisco, California w/ detroit cobras
i'll be there- dex moves me every time
Big nite for the Sharkies. Sonny, how do you feel?
I'm living in segments- right now I'm in the cocktail with the in-laws mode- check back later and I might be in the kill innocent passersby mode.
Go Sharks!
I'm drained. I turned a playoff game off for the first time since Tuna broke the VCR by throwing a pillow at the TV.
The wussification of the Bay Area has clearly made its mark on "our" professional sports teams.
Time to find a new hobby.
Like violence.
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