Predictions for the next 12 Months
George W. Bush will be impeached, and the Republicans will lose a majority in at least one seat of Congress.

Finley, Bonds and Alou will spend more collective games on the DL than on the field.

Bradley will get married.

Tuna's wife will get pregnant.

House will stumble on a stray train engine and break his ankle- he will be thus be 200 pounds next February.

No one will have Soulseek on his computer.

Iraq's civil war will spread to at least two neighboring nations.

Someone will be murdered at an abortion protest rally.

Myspace will be the subject of a Congressional investigation.

CD sales will plummet and be well on their way to becoming an obsolete technology- vinyl sales will continue to increase, as will flea market turntable sales, thus driving up the price.

Jonathan Franzen's new novel will be met with a collective yawn, driving him to write many essays on the rise and fall of fame and what it does to a man's self-consciousness.

Derr will still be reading The Tunnel.

The A's will win the World Series and hold their celebration at Cafe Van Kleef. Barry Zito will pull out the guitar late in the evening and serenade a Pablo hooker with a poignant version of "Oral Ain't No Thang." She will actively concur, at 15th and Telegraph, while the fans roar once more.

The Warriors will fire Mike Montgomery after Baron Davis demands to be traded, a request they will oblige in exchange for the number 3 pick in the draft which they will use to take a Serbian center who will be killed by a pipe bomb shortly before the season begins. Two days later, the Warriors will have a fire sale and announce that this will be a rebuilding year.

The world's collective suffering will increase, but Barclay's will not raise its prices and IPA's will still be 7%. See ya there.