Five Passages From Sabbath's Theater That Breed Hope That Comedy Is Not Dead
"Panties in my pocket at a funeral? That's hope!"

"In therapy...they're handed this version of their lives...The answer to every question is either Prozac or incest."

"You have extracted mental favors from me without my even knowing and against my will! I have been belittled by you! My dick has been belittled by you! Call the dean! My dick has been disempowered!"

"They have got a hundred times more proof of my criminality than could be required by even the most lenient of deans to drive me out of every decent antiphallic educational institution in America. Must I now ejaculate on CNN?"

"The cause of death was suicide, said Rosa Complicata, whom Mr. Sabbath sodomized moments before taking his life... According to Ms. Complicata, he had given her two fifty-dollar bills to perform perverse acts before his jumping out the window. 'But he no have hard prick, said the heavyset spokesperson, in tears."