A descendent of Napoleon, bitter at her inability to achieve orgasm via intercourse, raged against cows' superior anatomy: "Nature has favoured animals over womenkind... for the clitorises of mares are located right on the border of the genital orifice." Damn them.
Many 19th century American women had their clitorises removed because preachers said masturbation caused hysteria, epilepsy and idiocy.
Sexually stimulating a sow while you artificially inseminate her leads to a 6- percent improvement in fertility.
According to a 1940s survey of American men, roughly 27-percent of college-age rural males copped to having had "some animal experience to the point of orgasm." Calves, burros, and sheep were the preferred partners.
The last portion of a man's ejaculate contains a natural spermicide- not intended to kill his own soldiers but to annihilate the seed of any who comes after him.
Blood is the backbone of a stiff penis (note the eloquence of that sentence).
San Francisco cock-ring emergencies are so common that they have their own shorthand- "C-ring"- on the Fire Department teletype.
Dead men can get erections.
In 17th century France, a man could be arrested for not getting it up for his wife. If a man failed to satisfy his spouse, she could sue for divorce if the state could prove that he was not achieving erections for her, with the assumption that he was achieving them elsewhere. A tribunal would come in to see if he could get it up, and if so, it would be assumed that he was doing other women, which gave his wife grounds for divorce. Don't ask about procedure. Really.
Restaurants in Taiwan sell tiger penis soup for 320 bucks. Many believe that tiger cock will bring back a man's boom boom.
Male pandas have a really hard time finding the slot. And we protect these creatures.
More than one scientist has studied remedies for flatulence (or leakage from the back passage) during sex.
Young widows upset with life were often diagnosed with "womb fury."
Researchers have found that a session with a rectal probe electroejaculator dampens leg spasiticity for, on average, eight hours.
According to official literature, the following have been removed from rectums over the past ten years: a frozen pig tail, a bottle of Impulse Body Spray, a parsnip, a plaintain, a dull knife, a cattle horn, a salami, a jeweler's saw, and a plastic spatula. There is plenty more, but you get the picture.
A masturbating chimpanzee will stare straight at you.
Men's colognes actually reduce vaginal blood flow.
Just a random sample, really. Much more to be found in the book, especially the brilliance of the chapter on Danish farmers massaging teats to get pigs hot to improve fertility. Riveting stuff. I'll check back later after I've finished her work on dead bodies. Should be a hoot.
1 comment:
My experience in traveling to Idaho has taught me, there are some very attractive cattle out there.
Moose, too.
Post a Comment