Of course I had Florida going all the way in this year's teacher's pool, and if not for Acie Law IV's missed layup against Memphis, I would be holding my check triumphantly and standing rounds in the sunshine of the afternoon garden. Is Yannick Noah's son the most cringeworthy act in sports?

Speaking of gardens, my front yard is blossoming nicely after three months of black leaves left a shroud over my green thumb, and that can mean only one thing- contrived hope on Opening Day! I ain't no athiest on just this one day a year, until I watch Ray Durham blow out his knee bending over in the on-deck circle and I can return to the comforts of no belief.

I read RL Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde yesterday, and it's all tell, no show, especially when all the beans get spilled in the last thirty pages. The explicatory letter device to suffuse the reader's mind with light? I've seen Aaron Brooks telegraph passes with less obvious intent. I appreciate the "duality of man" premise, and what a burden would be lifted with parallel lives, but dramatize, ye deliverer of stilted prose, dramatize!

I firmly believe that the Dallas Stars laid down in last night's game against the anemic St. Louis Blues in an aggressively ungentlemanly attempt to avoid the Nashville Predators in the first round of the playoffs. Hockey shorthand- #5 gets the deadly Predators, and #6 faces the far less frightening Vancouver Canucks. That's right, the Sharks are currently tied with the Stars, thanks to the latter's complete lack of professional pride in Monday's pratfall. See ya tomorrow night for the big showdown with the Ducks, when the Men in Teel try to avoid all this by skooting past the formerly Mighty Quacks and win the division.

Bring on the research papers!